wyatt james at two months old

may god bless and keep you always

may your wishes all come true

may you always do for others

and let others do for you

may you build a ladder to the stars

and climb on every rung

may you stay forever young

may you grow up to be righteous

may you grow up to be true

may you always know the truth

and see the lights surrounding you

may you always be courageous

stand upright and be strong

may you stay forever young 

may your hands always be busy

may your feet always be swift

may you have a strong foundation

when the winds of changes shift

may your heart always be joyful

and may your song always be sung

may you stay forever young

scissor happy

i guess i went a little scissor happy with the boys and their hair last week. first, i took mikey to get his very first haircut...eh-ver. he's been complaining about his hair for a while now and it finally got to the point where i felt like i was torturing him by making him hold onto his sweet, sweet baby curls. he's a big boy now...i need to let it go. let it go, katrina. and when just telling myself that doesn't work...i scream to myself....get over it, crazy lady! not a big deal...really! ok...that worked.

bye-bye, sweet baby curls

he sat down in the salon chair and told his stylist, "i want hair like justin bieber!" noelia looks at me all crazy-like and says, "oh, ok. is that what we want to do, moooommmm?" i tell her, "yes. just like justin bieber," as i secretly show her a picture on my phone of how i want it cut, which looks absolutely nothing like the biebs.

i couldn't go too short. this was a good baby step, i think. maybe next time we'll go shorter....or not.

a couple of days later, i looked at liam and suddenly became overly critical of his hair. it was getting a little long and he was starting to look kinda cray-cray. so i broke out my hair scissors and a comb, bribed the boy with m&m's, and started hacking away. i'm much more comfortable cutting liam's hair because it's just so curly that no one would ever notice if it was a little uneven. ha!

you can hardly even tell it was cut. but that could also be because there's no 'before' picture. hmmm? this boy is seriously curly. even after cutting a few inches off, he's still seriously curly. 

now, i'm starting to look at my own hair and think, 'dang, i need a haircut'. 

embrace the camera - feb 24

hellooooo, thursday!

i have been suffering from embrace withdrawls. i wasn't able to post last week because, guess what i did??!! i spilled coffee all over my laptop and completely ruined it. thank goodness my files and photos were able to be saved...but the mister didn't get to pick up a new computer for me until the weekend. thankfully, i'm plugged in again and back in action!!!

onward to today's embrace....

my niece, malia, celebrated her first birthday yesterday! 

i can't believe she's already a year old...these kids are growing up so fast, it's sickening.

we joined in on a little birthday fun at superfranks and the kiddos has a fabulous time, as usual. here's a picture of me embracing the camera with the pretty, little birthday girl and her pizza.

and here is my family - minus isaiah, because he was off running around somewhere. it totally captures the usual chaos that we experience most moments of the day with all these boys running around.

i'm going to take this moment to rant a little more about how the kids are growing up. isaiah last weekend - for example - i swear i didn't see that child for the entire time we were at malia's party at superfranks. then he didn't even leave with us, he went home with his cousins for the night. he comes home the next afternoon, only to leave again to go to his first "drop off" birthday party {you know, the kind where the parents don't have to stay} and partied til 9:30PM!? when the mister went to pick him up, he didn't even want to come home yet! ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on breastfeeding

early into my fourth pregnancy, i knew i was done. i never really felt done with isaiah, mikey and liam. but the fourth pregnancy took its toll on me,  and combined with the demands of a toddler with special needs, i knew by the second trimester that i was D-O-N-E. knowing that wyatt would be my last go-round, i was adamant that i would be able to breastfeed him successfully.

i never did get the breastfeeding thing down with my first three. there was always something that didn't quite work out, whether it was latching, inverted nipples, or just the lack of time from having to go back to work. but one thing that stayed the same was that overwhelming feeling of failure. the feeling of having failed my babies and not feeling entirely whole as a mother. because, c'mon, moms are just supposed to breastfeed and it should just come naturally, right?

i pretty much had the same experience in the hospital immediately after all four births. once i told the nurses in the maternity ward that i planned on trying to breastfeeding...my goodness, the pressure those women put on me. their mantra was that if i wanted to breastfeed, i should give him absolutely no formula or pacifiers. umm...well wth do i do when he's crying from hunger and my freakin milk hasn't come in yet? baby's screaming, i have no milk for him...way to aggravate my already present feelings of inferiority that we just laying there right beneath my skin waiting to be unleashed and send me spiraling into postpartum depression. hahaha no, not really. i'm just being dramatic. but, i did expect to have this same experience after birthing wyatt, so i went so far as smuggling in my own formula and pacifiers into the hospital. bad, bad decision.

fast foward...and wyatt is one week old. my milk has come in and it's squirting, leaking, dying to be consumed by this baby of mine. one problem...he won't latch. silly mama didn't want him to starve so i gave him a bottle, and now he won't latch onto the breast. damn you, nipple confusion. thus began breastfeeding bootcamp. we planned for four consecutive days that the mister would be home to help with the big boys and all i did was sit with wyatt....and give him nothing. but. the. boob. oh my goodness...we were miserable. he was miserable. i was miserable. he was crying. i was crying. after three long days, three sleepless nights and many many threats of giving up, wyatt was finally back on the boob. we have successfully conquered nipple confusion!

fast forward to the present...and wyatt is seven weeks old. he's able to go from breast to bottle, no problem. we found the perfect bottle that i'm sure helped to let him do that. the nipple is designed so they baby has to latch onto it and requires the same suction and compression motions that breastfeeding requires. it is wonderful because i am able to breastfeed most of the day but also have the convenience of bottle feeding while we are out and about. it also helps with the night time feedings - hey! why do i have to be the only one waking up at night?! :) i absolutely recommend these bottles to any moms that want to  be able to breastfeed and also have the convenience of bottle-feeding, without confusing their little one.

after it all, i have this picture that i will hold near and dear to my heart for the rest of my life.
i didn't fail and i finally feel whole as a mother. and it also helps that it's the most wonderful feeling to look into this boy's eyes while i feed him.

this is just my story. my battle with breastfeeding.

it is a story that is so important to me and i felt it was necessary to incorporate it into my blog because...well, this blog is our story. it's the story of our family and our journey through parenthood. and written proof that we really don't know what the heck we are doing...even if we are four kids in!

today i love...

today i love these adorable vintage sheets that i dug out of the closet this past weekend. the mister claims them as his from when he was a kid. i'm pretty sure they got smuggled into our house via a few storage bins filled with various things when we emptied one of his storage units shortly after we moved in together.

these are the fun things i love to find when i go thrift shopping. stuff that's old and fun. probably the very same reasons that i love my husband...but that's a whole different post topic. and it's totally cracking me up that something my husband grew up with is now considered "vintage". 

anyway...the sheets are printed with the entire disney gang having fun at a carnival. so stinkin' adorable. 

there was also this super cute raggedy anne and andy pillowcase. but, no sheets. :( i'll have to go ask my mother-in-law. odds are she probably still has the sheets tucked away somewhere. mooommmmm, if you're reading this...do you have the sheets? hahaha

happy tuesday to all! 

even though i feel like i should be saying happy monday because of the long weekend. 

bath time

every kid has to have the obligatory, and ever-embarassing-when-they're-older, baby bath time pictures, right? wyatt is especially lucky because his bath time pictures aren't just going to just get tucked away in a photo album somewhere and not be seen again until he's engaged and i bust them out to show his fiance. oh, no. they are going up on the blog...on the world wide web...for all the whole wide world to witness his fine collection of rolls and ham hocks.

he seemed to be quite intrigued by his own handsomeness. he couldn't stop looking at himself in the mirror. or maybe he was just staring at the dirt on the mirror, in shock that his mother would allow him to bath in such filthy surroundings. i like to believe it's the former.

 "i think it's illegal to be this good-looking. i hope my mom knows she's harboring a criminal."

  

this little boy has some serious belly action going on now, which is why i've had to pack away some of his newborn clothes that no longer fit. big belly, big bald head...definitely takes after his daddy. 

 "care to join me in this nice, warm bath? i'll scootch over and make some room."

little mister wyatt was not happy at all to be taken out of his happy place.

ok. he was really, really m-a-d.

but, as his mother, i have the right to take a picture at any moment i deem necessary. a little crying never hurt anyone. and it makes for a stinkin' cute sad face picture, too.

  

i just don't get it

what is the big deal about these silly bands?!

valentine's day jibba jabba

the night before valentine's day, we were 'heart attacked' by our neighbors. it was funny because i was on the phone with the mister, and he says, 'someone just pounded on the front door. i almost had a heart attack'. then he opens the door to find that he really was heart attacked! haha. ok. it was funnier at the time, i guess.

most of vday was spent with shawn's family. the three eldest boys stayed home with a sitter while shawn, wyatt and i attended the funeral for shawn's grandfather. it was certainly a sad day, but we find comfort in knowing that he is finally free from his tired body and able to walk and dance around as he pleases. it was a wonderful day spent with family, celebrating the life of a beloved man. it was also nice because i was able to meet some of shawn's family that i haven't met before. it was great to finally see the faces of family that i've been addressing christmas cards to for a few years now. :)

on the way home, we stopped at a 7-11 because we were both super thirsty. the mister comes back to the car with a big gulp diet coke and a king size package of reese's sticks and says to me, 'happy valentine's day, honey.' i was so touched, i was speechless. {sarcasm} when i could finally put words together, all i could say was, 'why sticks? you couldn't even get reese's cups?' lol i love my man.

finally got home, and shawn made dinner: spicy eggplant with pork and kimchi. yum-o. i love it when i can pick up an ingredient, like eggplant, and tell him i was thinking of stir-frying it with ground pork, and he can whip the dish up and spice it exactly like i imagined it. we are definitely soul mates, at least when it comes to food. ha!

after dinner, we went to hang with the boys. although, it seems there wasn't much love going around.

not too sure what was going on there, but oh well. batman doesn't need love, anyway. mikey's got the val kilmer lips going on, don't you think?

it was a lovely day and i enjoyed spending the evening with all of my silly valentines. that would be ninja warrior, batman, the little boy who lives in his pajamas, and their daddy.

can't forget the little sweetheart who naps through all the action. i can stare at wyatt all day, wondering what he is thinking. he always has a thoughtful look and mister's stepmom described him the best...as an old soul. i'm sure he was someone who was nothing less of extraordinary in his past life and i'm thankful that he came to bless mine. 

aloha!

the mister's only brother and his wife live in the beautiful islands of hawaii...honolulu to be precise. they moved last july or so and came back for their wedding in october and we haven't seen them since. the boys absolutely adore their uncle mike and auntie jessie so you can only imagine how thrilled they were when i told them that their uncle mike was visiting for a few days and was coming to see them. beyoooonnnnd thrilled. 

they pounced on him as soon as he walked through the front door.

liam enjoyed some play time with his uncle mike, pimpin' out his duplo cars.

baby mikey was super excited. mike was one of the people our mikey was named after. the other two people being the mister's best friend since childhood and his dad (whose middle name is michael). so, as you can see, it was inevitable and fitting that one of our boys was named michael, naming him after three of the most important and influential men in the mister's life. 

uncle mike meets wyatt. 

since mike and jessie sent some of these candies to us for christmas, i can't get enough! they're just various sour gummy candies, but covered in li hing powder, which is some sort of salty dried plum powder. i know, it sounds weird, but my goodness, they are delicious and addictive! i gave the boys a bowl's worth, then hid the rest above the refrigerator. they seem to have forgotten about it...so my plan was successful. all mine!!!! 

i couldn't finish this post without a photo of the beautiful couple on their wedding day. aloha!

my funny valentine

mikey came home on friday toting a valentine for me that he was so very proud of. it drives me crazy how fast this boy is growing up. sometimes i wish i could just stop time and have him be my baby forever. but when i voice this wish to the mister, he quickly makes me realize that i better watch what i wish for....ha!

i love watching you grow up, mister mikey. but, please, try and slow it down...just a little.

embrace the camera - feb 10

hello, thursday!

oh, how i love thursdays. they mean that after we get through today, there's only one more day 'til the weekend. and the weekend means....partytime! hahahaha...not so much. but i just look forward to hanging out with my family without having to do anything or go anywhere.

sometimes i can't believe that i have four kids now. i find myself having to count them...often. when i jump in the car to go anywhere, i have to count my passengers just to make sure i didn't leave one behind. last night, as we sat at the dinner table, i was counting how many kids were at the table and thought to myself, 'is this all of them. i think soooo.' and don't even get me started on how many times a day i mix up their names. throw in the mister and the dog and i've got a pretty long roll call sheet.

this brings me to today's embrace the camera, where i'm embracing my favorite people in the whole wide world. i think this is pretty much our first decent picture as a family since wyatt was born. it was taken at liam's 2nd birthday party. and no, the clown isn't part of the family. she was just hanging out for the festivities. the mister doesn't look too sure about her. hmmm.....

this was our very, very first picture as a family of six. at the hospital when wyatt was born. it cracks me up...the mister was so tired from my delivery that he fell asleep for picture time. what is up with him and his inability to look at a camera and pose for a picture?

can't wait to see how you embrace your camera!

the beast

meet isaiah. 
but he prefers to be called 'the beast' when he's on the mat. and since this post is about isaiah on the mat, i will refer to him as the beast.

he'll be seven years old next month and started jiu-jitsu when he turned 4.

three years of jiu-jitsu training at his age is kind of a pretty big deal. kind of.

the beast loves to train. he doesn't care if i have the stomach flu and have to use the bathroom every two seconds...i must drive him to class. he doesn't care if i just got home from delivering his baby brother a few hours before...i must drive him to class. he wouldn't care if there's a chicken with its head cut off running around the backyard chasing our dog...i must drive him to class. it's almost an obsession...almost. 

the beast participated in a tournament this last weekend in aptos, ca called rumble in the redwoods hosted by tiger martial arts. he also fought in this tournament last year, and went home with a participant's medal. this means he didn't rank in the top three of his division. which is totally fine. we bring him to tournaments just so he can get the hang of competing against other kids that he doesn't regular train with. this is also the reason i like to bring him to this particular tournament. it's a pretty big one with kids from all over the state so he gets a very diverse group to compete with who really test his ability...and they help him find his strengths and weaknesses. many of these kids are very skilled in the sport, which makes it even scarier to know that isaiah's not the only beast out there. 

this year, the beast trained hard and fought hard for this tournament and went home with the silver medal! shawn and i were so super stoked and proud of him.

here is the beast with one of his coaches, riury gracie, from his school, charles gracie academy. we are fortunate because, although there are many charles gracie academy locations and affiliated academies, master charles gracie himself actually teaches out of the tracy academy, which is the one the beast goes to. riury gracie, pictured below with the beast, is charles gracie's son. so the beast is really learning from one of the best.

what amazing progress the beast has made in just one short year. his dedication is awesome. and it's all him. if it were up to me, i'd be driving him once a week. seriously. i'm just that lazy of a mom. but when i see the drive in his eyes when he's doing something he loves, i can't help but do whatever he needs me to, even if it means sitting in the car for an hour three times per week with his three little brothers screaming in the backseat begging for a popsicle and to rent a redbox movie. i love it...really, i do.

the big boys

i don't even know where to begin with these boys. as soon as their eyes open in the morning or close at bedtime, they will not spare one peaceful moment. they fight. they argue. they bicker. sometimes, i want to let each of them choose their own weapon and then lock them in the garage. i'd ring a bell and let the fight begin. i've even considered taking bets from the neighborhood kids. but i would never do that. because that's not nice.

regardless of how much they fight, argue and bicker, i know they love each other. how do i know this?

there are moments, more frequent than i would expect, where one of them will give the other some unsolicited love.

an example happened today.

mikey goes to a preschool that is on the same campus as isaiah's elementary school. when mikey goes to use the restroom, he has to walk across part of the school playground and will sometimes see isaiah playing with his friends. i picked mikey up from preschool today and his eyes lit up with joy as he said to me, "guess what, mama! i saw isaiah on the playground playing with his friends today. he said hi mikey. and he said he loved me."

my heart smiled. 

and i was reminded that no matter how much they drive each other {and their mother} up the wall, they really do love each other. {even when they are around their friends} and that's all i could ever ask for because that's all that really matters.

liam and the clown

liam's second birthday had already passed on december 19. but, with all the fuss around little wyatt's arrival, we postponed his circus-themed birthday party to the end of january.

i will save you from every last detail, but it was an incredibly fun time for everyone involved. for the kids' parties, i always like to "hire" something or someone or simply take the party to some kid-friendly venue just because i don't want to deal with entertaining 20+ kids on my own. for liam's party this year, we had sparkles the clown come and entertain the kids. there were a few that were unsure of her at first, but i think as soon as she started her puppet and magic show, the kids were drawn in to her silly jokes and tricks.

here is the story of liam's birthday party....

the sun came out, despite the rain we experienced the night before.

the kids enjoyed some serious bubble action in the backyard.

liam had a great time catching bubbles on his nose.

 fun with face painting

sparkles' puppet and magic show begins with balloon twisting!

the birthday boy is unsure of all the attention.

our family picture for the christmas card this year.

watch out, now.