disneyland!

even as we approached the main entrance, i remember shawn and i being so nervous about surviving a disneyland trip with four kids, one with autism. we were whispering to each other our game plan of what to do if liam (or any of the kids, for that matter) had a meltdown at some point during the day. we whispered that we'd remind each other to take deep breaths and reassured one another that the memories we'd make for the kids would be so worth the inevitable stress that we'd experience. we reminded each other to just not care about onlookers and not care what other people think - this is my biggest difficulty when it comes to liam and his meltdowns in public. we were giving each other this pre-game pep talk and the only thing missing was to put our hands in the middle of the huddle then yelling, "goooo team!" 

we survived. there was crying. there was bickering. there were meltdowns in the middle of main street for cotton candy. there was stress. lots of it. but there were also lots of smiles. lots of laughs. lots of moments of pure wonder in their eyes...and it made every anxious moment worthwhile.

i think i still look a little nervous in our first picture upon entering. heehee

a good friend mentioned that we could get a "guest assistance pass" for liam, which is basically the pass for people with disabilities to skip the lines. i felt guilty about it at first, but then i had just had to realize that we needed it and families like us are one of the reasons they even provide that service. liam has a severe aversion to crowds, loud places and loud music, and not to mention, waiting, so there was no way he'd be able to wait in any lines. before we knew about the pass, we just figured shawn and i would have split up while one of us takes the big kids into a ride and the other stays outside and waits with liam. well, thanks to the pass, this was not the case. liam was able to take part in everything that the big kids did. we were able to do and see everything as a family and actually enjoy the park together. this was huge and i was so incredibly thankful. i remember being in tears at every single ride, when i'd look at liam and just see the wonder and curiosity in his eyes. never, until that day, had i ever truly experienced the magic of disneyland. 

liam was intrigued by goofy and the other characters he saw around the park. too funny.

my boys had zero interest in sleeping beauty's castle or anything princess, actually. sigh. but, i made them pose in front of the castle anyway. because i'm their mom and they have to do what i tell them.

isaiah even got to participate in a jedi training class.

and fight darth vader with his newly-acquired jedi skillz. 

on the boat, about to enter "it's a small world". liam wasn't sure what all the excitement was about and was far more interested in what was up his nose.

this is the first time i'd been to the park during the holidays. "it's a small world" was absolutely breathtaking. 

my favorite picture of the entire day.

my silly boys.

liam, studying his map intently.

this is also the first time i've seen the park decorated for christmas. everything was so beautiful. it's a completely different place during the holidays. i don't think i'd ever want to come at another time of the year ever again!

we were able to watch the fireworks later in the evening. they played christmas music and the fireworks were holiday-themed. and at the end of the show, it snowed on main street! this might not be new to others but, like i said, this is the first time i'd been during the holidays, so i was taken completely by surprise and that was when the waterworks started. i was in tears - it was such a memorable and magical experience for so many reasons. i will never, ever forget it.

family reunion

a few weeks ago, we headed down to southern california for a week for two reasons - #1 was to attend my family reunion and #2 was to visit our friend, mickey (which i will post about soon). 

the family reunion was with my dad's side and was held on the lucky day of 11.11.11. there were well over 100 people there, many of whom traveled a long distance - chennai, india, philippines, the east coast. i had been looking forward to this since the day we caught wind of it six months prior and i'm so grateful that shawn shared the same enthusiasm i did. he and i both knew that we needed to be there - and our kids needed to be there - so that they could see and meet their extended family, many of whom they've never met before. 

the whole trip stirred up some sadness since i couldn't help but wish my mom was there with us - i felt like there was a huge piece of our branch of the family tree that was missing. but, being there with all of my family was incredibly comforting and i could feel my mom's presence all around us that entire day.  the boys had a great time with everyone and i was thrilled that they had this opportunity to see who and where they come from. it was an incredible experience for all of us.

and here is MY own little branch of our family tree. 

unfortunately, my two sisters did not join us that day. so this is one of just me, my dad and my brother.

  

the boys had fun playing with their cousins - i can't even remember the last time they saw each other. 

my dear cousin, daisy, who came all the way from chennai, india. i'm so thankful for facebook, because we are able to keep connected so easily no matter how far away we are from each other.

more of my dear cousins.

and even more!!!

 gotta love those tacky family reunion t-shirts. it just wouldn't have been a reunion without them. :)

the family's 1st generation - with my dad on the right.

2nd generation - my first cousins

3rd generation - my second cousins ("nieces and nephews")

also, the generation that my own kids are in.

they all couldn't fit in one frame, so there are three. just imagine them pasted together into one long photo. :)

i hope that my generation can keep this tradition alive.

i want my kids to always know their family and treasure these relationships and memories.

operation christmas child

as the holidays approach and the boys are consumed with creating wish lists and behaving for santa, i always try to remind them that the holidays are not just a season for wishing, but also for giving. i try to show them that we truly have much more than we really need and, for that, we are so very thankful. i do my best to teach them how to give, in even the smallest ways possible throughout the year, and especially during the holidays. 

we were first introduced to operation christmas child when isaiah started at a christian preschool at two years old. we have been packing christmas shoe boxes for children every year since. we pack the shoe boxes with toys, personal hygiene items (toothbrushes, combs, etc) and other school supplies, then pay $7 to ship the boxes and they get delivered to children in need all over the world. the program has improved greatly since we first started, where we can now pay the $7 online (versus writing a check), then we receive a tracking number and can see which country/town the boxes go to. pretty amazing. this time, we are enclosing a note from isaiah which will include our address and we hope the child will write back.

i decided to try something a little different this year. with the hopes of further driving in the lesson that they have far more than they really need, i challenged isaiah and mikey to go around the house and find things that we already had, but have not used, to fill the shoe box with. 

the amount of "stuff" they came back to me with had me speechless. it just goes to show that there's a lesson to be learned at any age.

play dough, a flash light, jump rope, glow-in-the-dark bracelets, markers, crayons, toothbrush, dental floss...we packed the shoe box with toys, goodies and lots and lots of love.

i even had this sweet boy help me sort through their halloween candy. we separated all of the hard candies and lollipops and added them to the shoe box. 

if you haven't started this tradition with your children, or any tradition that instills the spirit of giving, i encourage you to do so. because that is what the spirit of christmas is all about. happy holidays!!!!

drowning

most days it feels like we have this whole autism thing under control. we felt as if we were drowning for a while, but we found our way back to catch some air and have been treading water since. it even felt like we could see the shore. but when a 5-lb envelope arrives in our mailbox stuffed with five booklets of 15-page questionnaires that we are supposed to answer about our sweet liam, my head feels like it just got pushed into the water once again.

i wasn't expecting this and i'm not looking forward to it, either. i'm sure some tears will come from it, and very likely an argument and some bickering between me and the mister. but we do what we have to do to make sure we get the very best for liam {and for all of our children}. so, this is how i will be spending today, and probably tomorrow and the day after that.